Date With Clarity - Not Anxiety, Urgency, or Guesswork

YOU WILL FEEL BETTER

• YOU WILL FEEL BETTER •

Dating Therapy

Individual therapy for people who are dating and want to understand their patterns, regulate emotional reactivity, and make relationship choices from self-trust instead of fear or intensity.

When dating keeps activating the same patterns

You might notice:

Getting attached quickly — or pulling away just as fast
Overthinking texts, timing, or “what it means”
Feeling drawn to emotionally unavailable partners
Confusing chemistry with compatibility
Cycling between hope, anxiety, and disappointment
Knowing better — but still feeling stuck

Dating doesn’t just bring up preferences. It activates attachment patterns, nervous system responses, and old relational strategies — often in ways that feel confusing or out of proportion.

What Dating Therapy
Focuses On

Dating therapy isn’t about scripts, rules, or fixing your personality.

It focuses on:

Understanding your attachment patterns in real time
Regulating dating anxiety and emotional reactivity
Differentiating chemistry from emotional availability
Building boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or over-explaining
Recognizing when interest is mutual—and when it isn’t
Choosing partners from clarity instead of urgency

The goal is not to date perfectly.
It’s to date with steadiness, self-respect, and discernment.

Schedule a free Clarity Call

Let Me Guide You Through This…

Working with me help you:

Identify your dating and attachment patterns in real time

Stop confusing chemistry with emotional availability
Set boundaries without guilt, over-explaining, or people-pleasing
Regulate dating anxiety instead of spiraling or shutting down

Choose partners from clarity, not urgency

Build connections that feel steady, mutual, and grounded

Not by changing who you are — but by changing how you relate.

schedule Your free clarity call

Who This Is For

Dating therapy may be a good fit if you:

Feel anxious, preoccupied, or activated while dating
Keep repeating the same dating dynamics
Struggle to trust your instincts or decisions
Want to stop chasing clarity or reassurance
Are tired of dating advice that doesn’t actually help

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit—just curious about what keeps getting activated.

What to Expect

Individual 45-minute therapy sessions
A grounded, direct, and collaborative approach
Support understanding patterns without self-blame
Tools you can apply in real dating situations
Space to slow down and reconnect with your internal clarity

This work isn’t about becoming less emotional.
It’s about becoming more regulated, intentional, and self-led.

Practical Details

45-minutes weekly or bi-weekly
Evidenced-based, psychodynamic, relational, and pattern-focused
Offering In-Person (Cardiff-By-The-Sea, San Diego, California) and Telehealth sessions to those in California, Colorado, and Utah
Licensure: Phd in Clinical Psychology

Therapy is confidential and conducted according to professional and ethical standards.

Let's Get started

The Quiz

The 6 Dating Patterns

Which Pattern Are You? Take the Quiz to find out!

Take the quiz

One unreturned text away from a full spiral
You're constantly on high alert in relationships. You're not crazy—you're just operating from a place of constant fear that they're about to leave.
Different face, same story
You genuinely don't understand why you keep ending up in the same relationship. Spoiler: You can't see your pattern.
Hard conversations? You'd rather vanish into thin air
You're allergic to discomfort. DTR talks, conflict, vulnerability—you'd rather disappear than deal with any of it.
You are whoever they need you to be
Your sense of self is... negotiable. You morph into their perfect partner, then wonder why nothing feels right.
You want what you refuse to give
You preach emotional availability while being emotionally unavailable. You want honesty while keeping things vague. You're a walking contradiction.
You've done the work. Now go find someone who matches your energy.
You know yourself, communicate well, regulate your emotions, and show up with integrity. Congrats—you're the unicorn everyone's working toward.

Frequently Asked Questions

Below are the most common questions I’m asked about dating.

Why do I keep dating the same type of person—even when I know better?

Because attraction isn’t random. Most people are drawn to what feels familiar, not what’s healthy. Past relationships, early attachment experiences, and emotional conditioning quietly shape who feels “right.” Dating work isn’t about blaming your past — it’s about interrupting autopilot so you can choose differently.

How do I stop overthinking every text, date, or interaction?

Overthinking isn’t a personality flaw—it’s a nervous system response. When dating triggers uncertainty or insecurity, your brain tries to regain control through analysis. Learning how to regulate your emotional responses helps you respond thoughtfully instead of spiraling.

Should dating feel hard if it’s “right”?

No—but it also shouldn’t feel numb or chaotic. Healthy dating often feels calmer, more grounded, and less dramatic than what we’ve been conditioned to expect. If something only feels exciting because it’s uncertain or emotionally unavailable, that’s information — not chemistry.

Is it better to take a break from dating or keep trying?

That depends on why you’re dating. If dating feels compulsive, confusing, draining, or you’re feeling disillusioned a pause can be productive. If it feels intentional and values-aligned, continuing can be growth-supportive. There’s no gold star for pushing through burnout and it most definitely will not be easy to form a healthy connection from that place.

Is this for people who want a relationship – or people who are dating casually?

Both! The focus is not the outcome — it’s how you relate while dating. Whether you’re dating intentionally, casually, or selectively, this course helps you stay aligned and self-led.

Is it normal to feel confused or burned out by dating?

Yes. And no—You don’t have to stay there. Modern dating is emotionally noisy: apps, mixed signals, unclear expectations, and too many options. Burnout doesn’t mean you’re bad at dating. It usually means you’re dating without clarity or alignment.

How do I know if something is a red flag or just early dating anxiety?

This course teaches you how to distinguish anxiety from intuition and how to assess emotional availability without becoming hypervigilant or dismissing your needs.

What’s the difference between a dating pattern and an attachment pattern?

A dating pattern is what you do. An attachment pattern explains why you do it. Understanding both gives you leverage — because insight alone doesn’t change behavior, but insight + tools does.

How long should I give someone before deciding if it’s a fit?

There’s no universal timeline — but clarity matters more than time. Dating intentionally means checking for consistency, emotional availability, and alignment, not waiting indefinitely for potential to materialize.

Will this help me get over my ex?

That depends on why you’re dating. If dating feels compulsive, confusing, or draining, a pause can be productive. If it feels intentional and values-aligned, continuing can be growth-supportive. There’s no gold star for pushing through burnout.

Can I work on dating without being in a relationship?

Absolutely — and it’s often the most effective time. Dating clarity starts with understanding yourself, your needs, and your patterns before emotions are on the line.

How do I know which starting point is right for me?

Different seasons require different levels of support. This isn’t a hierarchy. It’s a continuum. Many people move between: Blogs → Digital Intensive → Coaching → Therapy — or combine them intentionally.

Choose your path

Who this is for and how you can benefit from working with Dr. Lindsay

Best for:
- Pattern recognition
- Practical tools
- Self-paced clarity
- People who want structure without pressure
Think: “I want to understand what’s happening—and interrupt it on my own schedule”
Learn more
Best for:
- Repatterning in real time
- Accountability
- Dating discernment
- Building confidence and emotional steadiness
Think:“I want one-on-one structured support with real-time practice and feedback.”
Learn more
Best for:
- Emotional distress or overwhelm
- Trauma, attachment wounds, or mental health concerns
- Deep relational healing
- Ongoing support
Think:“This isn’t just about dating—it’s affecting my life and well-being.”
Learn more

Stuck in a loop and need more insight? Get started with our free resources.

Blog & Free Resources

Best for:

Early curiosity
Normalizing experiences
Light insight and language

Not ideal if: You’re stuck in a loop or need support applying insight.

More FAQs

This is a very common question! In addition to my PhD in Clinical Psychology, I also have a coaching certificate and can assist at whichever level you’re ready for.
Coaching meetings are psychology-informed, structured, focused, and practical. We apply the UnPattern framework to your life to clearly identify patterns, and apply insight to real-time choices. This is intentional coaching focused on the present and future to help propel you into change.
Therapy sessions create a safe space to process emotions, heal from past wounds understand yourself on a deep level, and provides mental health treatment. We aim to understand the past, explore the present and build a future that feels uniquely individualized to you. Therapy is only available in California, Colorado, and Utah as those are the states that I hold licenses in.
Schedule a quick clarity call to connect and notice how you feel talking to that person. Finding a therapist or coach that you vibe with is one of the most significant factors in reaching your goals and having a good experience.
Schedule a clarity call and let’s see if we’re a good fit to help you on your journey.
First off, congrats on the self-awareness! Should this arise we’d talk about it and handle it openly and ethically. Your wellbeing always comes first!
If it becomes clear that therapy would better support you, we’ll pause and discuss appropriate next steps. You can also use PsychologyToday.com to find a therapist in your area.