UnPattern Your Relationships. Lead Yourself Differently.
A psychology-informed framework for interrupting relationship patterns—
whether you’re single, dating, breaking up, or partnered.
UnPattern :Why You Keep Repeating Relationship Patterns
- and How to Finally Interrupt Them
You’re not imagining it.
If relationships keep following a familiar arc —
the same attraction, the same confusion, the same ending —
it’s not because you “haven’t healed enough.”
It’s because patterns don’t disappear just because you understand them.
UnPattern exists for people who are self-aware and still stuck.
What is UnPattern?
UnPattern is a psychology-informed framework for interrupting relationship patterns and building emotional self-leadership.
It explains:
Why insight alone doesn’t stop repetition
Why familiar dynamics feel magnetic (even when they hurt)
Where real change actually happens in relationships
UnPattern isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about recognizing the invisible rules you learned about connection — and learning how to pause long enough to choose differently.
This framework sits underneath all of my work, whether you’re:
Same lens. Different life moments.
Core ValueThe relationship you have with yourself is the only constant in life - it directly shapes the depth of connection you’ll have with anyone else.
The UnPattern Framework
UnPattern strengthens three core capacities — not steps, not hacks, not scripts.
Pattern Recognition
Learning to see recurring dynamics clearly, without self-blame or pathology.
Patterns aren’t flaws.
They’re learned responses — and learned responses can change.
Interruption
Developing the ability to pause between trigger and reaction so familiar dynamics don’t run on autopilot.
Insight opens the door.
Interruption is where change happens.
Emotional Self-Leadership
Making relational choices from regulation and clarity — not urgency, fear, or old survival strategies.
This is how repetition actually stops.
How UnPattern Is Used
UnPattern is not a standalone course.
It’s the framework behind all programs and offerings, including:
Relational recalibration inside partnership
Each application uses the same UnPattern lens — adapted to a specific relational moment.
This work is educational and psychology-informed.
It is not therapy, diagnosis, or treatment.
The Goal of UnPattern
UnPattern doesn’t promise perfect relationships.
It builds the capacity to:
Pause instead of react
Choose instead of repeat
Relate with intention instead of habit
Because the pattern isn’t the point.
Your relationship to yourself is.
Why Relationship Patterns Repeat
(Even If You Know Better)
Most people don’t repeat relationship patterns because there is something wrong with them or they’re broken.
They repeat them because patterns are learned adaptations — strategies that once helped you stay connected, safe, or seen. Now they’ve become automatic habits and our goal is to create more space so you can actively chose what you want.
Over time, those strategies can become:
Automatic
Rigid
Misaligned with who you are now
Here’s the part most advice skips:
Patterns don’t live in your thoughts.
They activate under emotional pressure.
That’s why knowing your attachment style doesn’t automatically change who you’re drawn to.
And why insight alone rarely holds up in moments of trigger, urgency, or perceived loss.
UnPattern focuses on the space between trigger and reaction — because that’s where choice actually lives.
Ready to Apply UnPattern?
Explore how the framework applies to where you are right now:
In partnership
Dr. Lindsay is here to help!
I’m Dr. Lindsay O’Shea (PhD), a California-based Clinical Psychologist who helps people understand and break repeating relationship patterns and build emotional self-leadership - whether they’re single, dating, or breaking up.
My work focuses on the space between insight and action—the moment when emotions activate, old strategies take over, and choice narrows. Rather than offering advice or labels, I help people recognize patterns earlier and respond with more clarity and self-trust.
My work bridges attachment science, nervous system awareness, and real-world relationships—without oversimplified advice or blame.
UnPattern was created for people who are insightful, self-aware, and still finding themselves stuck in the same cycles. Because knowing better doesn’t always mean choosing differently—until you understand why.
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Unsure of where to begin?
Schedule a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Lindsay to start your Adventure!