Hi, I'm Dr. Lindsay O’Shea
—and I've seen every side of the dating chaos.
I'm a Clinical Psychologist who spent years researching millennial relationships (and beyond) from hookups to committed partnership, the impact of social media and technology on relationships satisfaction and how we got so far aware from just being able to talk to each other.
But research wasn't enough. I became a matchmaker, dating coach and got a behind the scene understanding of the apps as a dating app consultant. I’ve worked with hundreds of people to help them navigate modern dating culture and find their partner... And here's what I kept seeing: People had perfect checklists for what they wanted in partners but weren't living those standards themselves. They wanted emotional availability but couldn't communicate their needs. They craved authenticity but were terrified of vulnerability.
I built UnPattern as a space for people who are done with the games. They’re ready to do the work and want to actually break their dating patterns rather than just complaining about it.
This is the kind of change where you become more yourself. More conscious. More free.
This isn't about finding "the one." It's about becoming the one—for yourself.
That’s self-actualization. And I’m here to help you get there.
Unsure of where to start? Take the quiz below to begin your journey.
Masters Thesis: How Social Media Messes with Your Love Life
Ever scroll Instagram wondering why everyone else's relationships look perfect while yours feels complicated? My research revealed something crucial: the more we compare our love lives online, the worse we feel about them.
Plot twist? What you're seeing isn't real—it's a highlight reel. And if you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, social media comparison hits even harder, amplifying fears that you're not enough or making commitment feel impossible.
The bottom line: Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else's curated feed. Understanding how your attachment style interacts with social media is the first step to building confidence in your relationships—or fully owning your single life.
Research Expertise in Love and Life
Dissertation: Why Dating Feels Impossible (Spoiler: It's Not You)
Modern dating feels like a confusing maze of ghosting, mixed signals, and endless swiping. My research explored why—and here's the truth: dating isn't broken. How we've been taught to approach it is.
We repeat patterns without realizing it. Dating apps fuel comparison and insecurity. And while everyone blames hookup culture for ruining romance, the real culprits are emotional unavailability, unclear intentions, and fear of vulnerability.
Here's the good news: You're not "bad at relationships." You just haven't learned how to build secure, fulfilling connections. Once you understand your patterns and attachment style, you can break the cycle—whether you're seeking partnership or thriving solo.
Ways to Work With Me
Stop Repeating Patterns. Start Understanding Yourself.
Digital Intensives
Self-paced, online.
Watch when you’re ready. Rewatch when you need it.
Learn to recognize your patterns and regain emotional clarity.
Gain new tools for self-practice.
1:1 Coaching Programs
Guided to Go Deeper.
Psychology-informed, structured, and goal-focused.
Accountability and guidance.
Application of UnPattern framework and tools for change.
Therapy
Foundational change within a supportive therapeutic relationship.
For deep work, emotional processing, and core change.
Mental wellness treatment (Anxiety, ADHD, Trauma, Attachment Styles, etc).
Offered in California, Colorado, and Utah.
Why Work With Me
1. Experience
You Trust
I have helped people UnPattern their lives to reach their goals for nearly 20 years through: Matchmaking, Date Coaching, Dating App Consultation, Volunteering, and as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. I bring all this knowledge to you in a relatable way to foster and reach your goals.
2. Personalized Approach
I understand that every individual is unique, which is why I build a strong rapport with every customer and strive to understand your specific needs, so we can support your growth and transformation.
3. Safe, Honest
and Private
My commitment to your privacy and trust ensures that you can openly share your thoughts, feelings, and goals without fear of judgment or breach of confidentiality.
The Complete Transformation
What happens when you work with Dr. Lindsay towards building a life you LOVE?
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🎯 Clarity
Know exactly what you want—and what you won’t tolerate—in relationships
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🛡️ Boundaries
Set them clearly, hold them consistently, without guilt or over-explaining
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💪 Confidence
An unshakeable sense of self that doesn’t waver based on someone’s interest
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🧘 Emotional Mastery
Feel deeply without making impulsive, regrettable decisions
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🗣️ Authentic Communication
Express needs, desires, and boundaries with clarity and confidence
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🔁 Pattern Breaking
Stop repeating the same relationship dynamics over and over
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🤝 Secure Attachment
Move toward earned secure attachment and healthier relationship patterns
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✨ Self-Trust
Building the foundation that changes everything else – hear yourself clearly, advocate for your needs, and choose better for yourself.
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🌟 All Relationships
When you strengthen your relationship with yourself, every other relationship changes—with partners, friends, family, and your future self.
Core ValuesEmotional Clarity is a Super Power
Focus on the present, learn from the past, and you can create your own future
Our past may shape us, but it doesn’t define who we become
Self-actualization: Realizing one's full potential and striving for personal growth, creativity, and self-fulfillment.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are You Accepting New Clients?
What is the difference between therapy and coaching?
Yes—availability varies by service and state. I accept a limited number of new clients at a time to ensure quality care. Availability changes, so the best way to is to schedule a clarity call and we can see if we’re a good fit to get started!
This is a very common question! In addition to my PhD in Clinical Psychology, I also have a coaching certificate and can assist at whichever level you’re ready for.
Coaching meetings are psychology-informed, structured, focused, and practical. We apply the UnPattern framework to your life to clearly identify patterns, and apply insight to real-time choices. This is intentional coaching focused on the present and future to help propel you into change.
Therapy sessions create a safe space to process emotions, heal from past wounds understand yourself on a deep level, and provides mental health treatment. We aim to understand the past, explore the present and build a future that feels uniquely individualized to you. Therapy is only available in California, Colorado, and Utah as those are the states that I hold licenses in.
How do I chose a Therapist or Coach?
Schedule a quick clarity call to connect and notice how you feel talking to that person. Finding a therapist or coach that you vibe with is one of the most significant factors in reaching your goals and having a good experience.
Schedule a clarity call and let’s see if we’re a good fit to help you on your journey.
Do you offer Telehealth or In-Person?
Both, as well as a hybrid option. My physical office is in Cardiff-By-The-Sea in San Diego, California - if you’re in the area, in person meetings are a great option.
Telehealth is a great option for those outside of the area. While I can only see therapy clients within California, Colorado and Utah, coaching provides more flexibility and extends to all states.
Schedule a Free Clarity Call
UnPattern is a psychology-informed, educational program.
It is not psychotherapy and does not provide diagnosis, treatment, or mental health care.
Participation does not create a psychologist–patient relationship.
If you are experiencing significant emotional distress or require clinical support, please seek care from a licensed mental health professional.
If you are in crisis or need immediate support:
Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room
Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Text HOME to 741741 — Crisis Text Line